As it turns out today is cd 27 for me and the nightmare begins all over again (or maybe not). This is the day when my hope is at the highest and at the lowest. As of now af has not come to ruin my day I am still on a bit of a high fantasising that this is it, af will stay away and I will finally have my long desired BFP but alas my cynical(self preservation) self comes out and lets me know that no, this is not your month it has never been your month and nothing has changed that will make this one your month.

You see adding to my cynicism/reality check is that I have never had a BFP. Ever. Not even once in my 26 years and 9 (about 16 months of ttc but still me and my then boyfriend now husband used the pull out method for at least 4 years prior to this and nothing) years or so of having sex have even had an oops and yet each month I stupidly hope that this month is the one, sigh. But I digress...

So today is the day CD27 my day of anguish and hope.